Josué Ochoa ’24
Spring 2021
As a 9-year-old little girl, Karin moved to the United States from Mexico, in hopes of reaching the glorified American Dream. Being the youngest of 10 children, the transition of living within the United States was made even more difficult because of the anomaly of having had such a big family. Karin grew up with a lost sense of identity because of the distance away from her homeland, but also because she didn’t feel as though she completely belonged in the United States. Although she found a sense of community within the church, the continual stigma against migrants within the United States acted as a resounding wall that never allowed for Karin to feel as though she were truly American.
Q: When exactly did you move here? What was the motivation for coming to the United States?
A: So, um, I talked to my mom about this and cause I was preCy young when we moved here, but, uh, she told me the story that, my dad, that was his dream to always bring us here. We are big family. There’s 10 of us. I’m the youngest of 10. So my dad always strived to come to the United States to, to give us a better life, you know, since we were such a big family. So, um, he, um, he always talked about us moving here. So I think that’s why that was his dream.
Q: What did you imagine the United States to be like? Was this quite different from the reality that you experienced?
A: Well, I thought it was going to be easier to live here too. Like, you know, I mean, we watch movies and we see all this, you know, all this cool stuff and like all these fancy houses and stuff. And we only had one vehicle, I remember. And there was 12 of us, you know, my, my, all my siblings, plus my mom and dad, and we used to all have to fit in that car. So, you know, like driving from Sahuarita to Tucson, the bigger city, it it’s about, back then it took us about half an hour cause my dad was a slow driver. So we had a small vehicle, and I remember all of us trying to fit in one vehicle, a >ny vehicle. It was a Datsun. I can’t I don’t know if I’m pronouncing that right. [00:08:00] But, um, it was like a hatchback. And um, so it was, it was hard. And you know, you think that you’re going to come and, and just be successful in life and, and have better things, but it was a struggle. It was a struggle when we got here. We didn’t have family here. We kind of just, you know, lived with people that were really nice, that helped us. And, um, we, we. My dad, uh, we– was invited to a church to be a pastor at a church. And so we had a family in Christ, you know, family that was willing to help us out, you know, that, that would help us out with food once in a while.
But remember there were a lot of us, so not a lot of people wanted to invite us cause we, we ate pretty good.
Q: How was the United States different from Mexico?
A: What I, I remember that, you know, like for instance, um, the just– living in Mexico, there was more rules, I think, you know, as a family where, you know, like parents who are stricter and we had, there was more respect and it was more like, um, like you couldn’t talk back to your parents.
I guess that’s one of the things that my mom was afraid of when we moved over here, how, you know, that would change for us, you know, how we would get so comfortable in the ways of, of the United States, I guess. And, and cause that it, it, it did make an influence– it was influence for us, you know, to live here and, and just be raised differently, I guess, than in Mexico, but, but, uh, the community in Mexico is very friendly. Um, they are very open and welcoming and they offer you food and they, um, open their, you know, their hearts and their arms and their homes. And, and like for instance during Christmas we could go to all the neighbors’ houses and have meals and stuff with them. And when I moved here, we were, um, strangers from another land and it wasn’t the same.
I mean, people are looked at as different, you know, and then being such a big family, people were scared of us. So, you know, just a bunch of little kids.
It makes me sad that they think that way of us, that they can’t trust us or that we are not trustworthy people, you know, that we can’t, that we’re not here to do, to work and to have a better life. And, um, and that’s, I think that’s the only reason why a lot of people moved to the United States, it’s so that they could have a better life and better jobs and be able to help their families in Mexico. Just like my father tried to do and, or he did. And so it’s sad.
Q: What sort of perceptions do people from the United States have of people from Mexico? Do you think people understand who you are and where you came from?
A: No, I don’t. I don’t think so. I don’t think that they understand, but, um, I guess they feel like we’re less educated than they are. Um, that we’re drug dealers. Um, you know, just how one of the presidents referred to us as you know, just rapist, um, gangbangers, um, It makes me sad that they think that way of us, that they can’t trust us or that we are not trustworthy people, you know, that we can’t, that we’re not here to do, to work and to have a better life. And, um, and that’s, I think that’s the only reason why a lot of people moved to the United States, it’s so that they could have a better life and better jobs and be able to help their families in Mexico. Just like my father tried to do and, or he did. And so it’s sad.
Q: Do you feel this country is welcoming toward immigrants?
A: Well, um, there’s, there’s good people here, but, you know, and, and there’s people that have made me feel really welcomed and, um, but there’s also people that have made me feel like I should go back. Um, maybe because I don’t agree with them or because I, you know, I, there’s certain things that I believe in that they don’t believe in.
And so then, because I don’t believe that, you know, they, they expect me to go back to Mexico or where I came from or whatever, or, um, um.
But I think that it’s, it’s affected more just recently. You know, the way that I’ve been treated, you know, as a Mexican; it felt that more, just even walking, going on a walk and then seeing a couple and saying good morning, and them not responding, you know, or, or, um, you know, like going to the supermarket and holding the door open for somebody and feeling like that’s my job to open the door for them.
And them not even saying thank you. Or, or even acknowledging me or looking, you know, like giving me a glance or something, you know? Um, just, I don’t feel very welcomed a lot of times, so.
I think some of it, it is because there’s a lot of trust issues here, I believe. But also just recently with everything that went on with, um, president Trump and, and all the things, the hateful things that he said, and, and that, that really hindered the relationship between, um, um, um, Um, a minority, which, and a white person.
Yeah. So it’s, it’s been hard this past few years. It’s been hard.
Q: Have you ever felt like you’ve had to work harder or do better than others in order to be accepted? Do you feel like people treat you differently because of where you came from?
A: Um, definitely like right now I work at a school and, and I always, I always feel like I have to prove myself and work harder and, and I, I’m not the type of person that likes to just sit around and not do anything. I like, I like to work; if I work, I work hard.
And so I, well, I always feel like I have to kind of go an extra mile to help people just so that I could be accepted, like feel accepted and, um, some>mes, um, working with, I guess, younger, the younger women, you know, in the office. It’s, [00:32:00] it’s a little in>mida>ng just because I am Mexican. I am, I have an accent.
I, you know, I have to think twice on how to pronounce things because I. My, my first language is Spanish. So I have to kind of think about it and translate it into English to be able to get my point across. So, so it’s, so I have to even then work harder, you know, like think faster and try to come up with, you know, like, uh, an answer to something because I’m having to think in two languages to be able to say what I have to say and make it clear enough for people to understand. But yeah, I always feel like I have to work a little harder than most people because, because of my race.
Q: Has this worsened more recently, or has it always been this way?
A: No, I think it’s something that’s always happened. It’s nothing. Um, I’ve always felt that way. I’ve always felt like I have to work harder. Um, I mean, even with my, you know, my spelling and my pronunciation, just, you know, like having to, to not say something backwards because in the Spanish language, you think of a phrase and it’s in, if you translate it, you have to kind of twist the, uh, the words or the order of the words.
And so, so, so it’s a little hard to do, but, but eventually you get used to it and you make it work.
That’s why I was so nervous to do this because.
Q: Do you see yourself as an American at this point?
A: I don’t know. That’s really hard to answer. Um, I guess, I mean, I’ve always considered myself an American, because I was born in Mexico and Mexico’s part of America, but, but I know what you mean when you ask that question. I, I am still Mexican American. Um, that’s– I mean, I, I don’t know. I wish I was prouder to say that I’m an American.
Um, but it’s hard sometimes. It’s hard.