Vaidehee Durgude
Spring 2022
Meera Honde’s story starts in Pachunde, population 3,000. It’s a small village in the state of Maharashtra, India. The first thing Meera has to say about it is that there is no schoolhouse. When she was growing up, classes were held in the temple. There was only one teacher and no transportation, so getting an education was no easy feat.
Between these regular treks were the day-to-day responsibilities of life on her family’s farm. Every morning, she woke before sunrise, cleaned the animal’s shelters, and carried water from the well to her home. After going to school, she would return, eat, and work on the farm until after dark. After her family went to sleep, Meera would then settle down with a small candle and study late into the night.
Meera walked three miles to town every week to sell her family’s vegetables. She would earn maybe 200 to 300 rupees – the equivalent of about six to seven US dollars. That was as much money as her family would have for the week. Because they acquired vegetables, grain, and milk from their farm, this money would be saved for infrequent, bare-minimum expenses.
Every year, Meera received one pencil, her school uniform, and if necessary, a dress. There was no play, really. Meera and her siblings would prepare food together, sing songs, or sleep under the stars. They would listen to the radio, where a woman’s voice reported the news. At three or four years old, Meera dreamed about the city where that woman lived. She watched blinking lights navigate the sky and thought how the airplanes looked so “very small, like a bird.” She decided, “I will become a doctor, and go there. I want to sit in an airplane too.”
“I wanted to learn more, become a doctor and make my people proud of me. That’s why I got stronger and stronger.”
However, education was a scarce resource. For a girl, it was almost impossible to obtain. Her neighbors taunted her and her father refused to give her food if she went to school. As she grew older, the threat of marriage also hung over her head. She had three sisters who were also interested in education. One was married when she was five or six years old; her immediate elder sister was married when she was in seventh grade; her immediate younger sister was married in tenth grade. Meera doesn’t know how she escaped this fate. Perhaps it was her brother’s support, who played a fatherly role in her life. Perhaps it was the way she adamantly avoided any interactions with boys that might be used as a justification to arrange her wedding. Perhaps she was lucky. Meera doesn’t think it matters. She says, “I wanted to learn more, become a doctor and make my people proud of me. That’s why I got stronger and stronger.” By the time she won an essay competition and earned her photo in the newspaper, her father had begun to warm up to his daughter becoming educated. Meera didn’t stop there; finished high school at the top of her class. She was accepted into a top engineering school – the College of Engineering Pune – with a full ride scholarship. (Later, Meera was also accepted into a top medical school, but by then she had already decided to pursue engineering).
Meera does not regret switching to engineering. She says, “Oh, sometimes I still feel I could have been a doctor because that was my initial goal. But I’m not regretting. I’m an engineer, and because of engineering, I could easily come to America.” She graduated in June, 1996, with a degree in Electronics and Communications. In February of 1999, she married Anant Durgude, another recent engineering graduate who had spent the past two years working in the UK. It was not uncommon for young Indian couples, especially those working in IT, to reside in different countries during the initial years of their partnership. This remained the case for Meera and Anant.
Being an H1B worker did make immigrating to the US easy: “there was a simple interview, and my company just picked up my resume and they called me and they like me.” They organized Meera’s Visa, booked her plane, called a cab, and rented her apartment. Her experience at Customs was stressful because she kept answering questions incorrectly, but the border agents were sympathetic because they trusted the company which hired her. After a relatively smooth travel experience, Meera arrived alone in the Bay Area on December 20th, 2000.
The process was supposed to be simple. “The United States basic proposal is to get money, go back and build a nice life [in India]. Take care of your family and learn more about this country.” Combined with Meera’s love of traveling (including a brief stay in Japan as part of a previous project), she anticipated remaining in the United States for a few years before returning. However, after some back and forth residence between the Bay Area, India, and Illinois (where their first child, a daughter, was born in 2003), Meera and Anant returned to the US. She says, “When we came back to California we really liked it, and we stayed here. Now, we are here for 16, 17 years.”
Staying in the US, however, was not so simple. Meera and Anant filed for Green Cards soon upon their arrival in 2005, but the process has been extremely slow and circular. They are both contractors, which means they work for various companies for contracts that last six months to a year. Every time they have to switch companies, the Green Card application process restarts – but without a Green Card, it is difficult to gain a full-time position as an employee, so the two are stuck in an extended residence limbo. In 2018, the Trump administration took actions to limit H1B Visas, and both Meera and Anant’s H1B renewals were rejected. Anant had to return to India almost immediately, and Meera was allowed to remain long enough to get a new job and bring Anant back to the US through sheer luck
Meera describes a constant “tension that they may send you back”. Without it, she might consider the United States a home: “If I had a Green Card, then I could stay here… You get support, and you have the same rules that others have. You can be a citizen. It gives you a feeling that this country belongs to you.” This is why she’s glad her daughter was born in the US: “she has all rights, and she is not suffering like us… since she is an American citizen, even if we have to leave for India, she could come back easily and not suffer like us.”
“If I had a Green Card, then I could stay here… You get support, and you have the same rules that others have. You can be a citizen. It gives you a feeling that this country belongs to you.”
Meera and Anant have, however, found a community. Their home in the Bay Area is in the middle of a bursting Indian diaspora. They go to the temple, attend pujas, and celebrate festivals with bright clothing, loud music, and wonderful food. It is critical to Meera that her children remain in touch with their Indian heritage: “A lot of Americans don’t… understand that India is really rich with culture. Our history, our traditions, Indian festivals, and Indian mythology is really rich.”
Meera is happy to be settled in the United States, but she is constantly aware of the caveats that determine her existence here: “American means free bird… America lives on the philosophy you live and let them live… You must work hard, but follow the rules. Do not break the rules, because if you mess up little things, your life will be gone completely. Their laws are very strong, and they really follow up, at least if you are not a citizen. If you work hard and be nice, you will definitely achieve.”
Her deepest value stays the same: “My daughter, or my son should understand that education is the most important thing in anyone’s life and you should be always open to learn more things. I don’t want to spend more money on anything but I will always spend money on education, anything related to education, I’ll spend the money.” This is something that will never change. “I think right now, also, I want to learn,” Meera says. “I’m always a student.”