Nancy Vu
Fall 2022
“…when talking about the journey to America, you see it is not simple. It is like that. There are a lot of things you have to do that you don’t want to, but it has to be done.”
Before coming to America, N.D. and N.V. were already familiar with its promises for immigrants from their exposures to US military troops in Vietnam. As late refugees from the Vietnam War, they considered America a new starting point that would relieve them from their precarious lives in Vietnam.
“I came to America to restart my life. I thought about how my children would be able to find freedom because at the time in Vietnam there was no freedom and even today, on the surface they call it ‘freedom’, but in communist terms.”
N.D. was born in Saigon (present-day Ho Chi Minh City) and grew up there with his parents and eight siblings. N.V. was born in Bien Hoa and is the oldest of ten children. She was raised by merchant parents, who experienced dramatic economic decline in the aftermath of the Vietnam War when the new communist regime took reign and began targeting wealthier families. This change altered N.V.’s life permanently, and she had to make many sacrifices to support her family.
N.V. recalls, “I went to school up to the 5th grade before I dropped out because our family has a lot of children, so I stayed home to help my parents go to the store and cook food and care for the children for my parents to go to work… in the past, my parents had two houses and they took one from us. The family’s assets, they took it all to reduce the wealth of richer families.”
In particular, N.D. noted this change as a reflection of political shifts in power.
N.D.: “The new government hated Americans. They said it was because of Americans that the Vietnam War happened so they hated Americans and anyone associated with Americans, they were not given the ability to continue their work.”
Comparatively, N.D. stated that their life did not experience as dramatic of a change.
N.D.: “My father was a veteran, but after that, then we were normal. We also faced difficulties, but it did not change as much N.V.’s family. For N.V.’s family, it changed a lot because in the past they were rich, so this makes life more difficult.”
The two met one another several years before they immigrated with their son to the United States. They migrated to the United States when N.D. was 42, N.V. was 39, and their son was five.
They arrived separately—N.D. arrived at the end of 2001, when winter was approaching, “Coming down from the airport, from the airplane to the airport, there was heating so it was warm. Stepping out of the airport, I only had a t-shirt… I thought it was so cold. The wind had me shivering.
N.V. came a few months later with their son and faced the same barren cold that they had to learn to embrace.
The desire for freedom—freedom to travel, freedom to make a life for themselves, and a freedom to—was the guiding principle for their perseverance through the hardships of migration and reassimilation to an unfamiliar country.
At the start of the interview, N.V. explains the motivation behind migration for Vietnamese post-war migrants broadly.
“In general, people who come to the United States are coming to find freedom…Usually because of this law and that law, you are forced and coerced into situations where they take things from you and your autonomy…Coming here to a free country, you live more comfortably and there are more job opportunities and the government supports you…Over there, you only have your own capacity to survive. If you don’t have the strength to work, then you starve or something and you just have to accept it… secondly in America, we have children and we think of their livelihoods. Going to school here is better than in Vietnam. School here doesn’t cost money and in Vietnam it does. From pencils to books, you have to buy it. Over here, all of it is free. And your education here has value multiple times that of a degree over there. That’s why.”
Similarly, N.D. explains, “We knew that, with regard to political issues, [America] was the head of the world in freedom. It was the country that valued freedom the most in the world, so coming to America was a dream for us.”
More so, N.D. adds, “It’s not just because of life alone or economic issues. In the past, that was a part of it, but nowadays, Vietnam’s economy is better. People want to go to America due to issues with freedom… Freedom has a lot of things: religious freedom, freedom of speech, freedom of travel. You can live where you want. In Vietnam, it’s not like if you want to live somewhere, you can. Wherever you go, you have to ask for permission.”
Still, their journey to achieve this freedom was not straightforward, and they had to overcome many barriers to access the freedom they dreamt of.
N.V. and N.D. both had to falsify parts of their life narratives to make it to America and be understood as deserving migrants. N.V. had to change her age by six years in order to be of age to migrate with her family. Despite doing so, she still could not come with her family due to delays in the processing of her paperwork. She ended up staying in Vietnam alone for a decade before finally being sponsored by her mother to come to the United States. This has had effects on her present life.
N.D.: “N.V. lowered her age by six years, so when her retirement age comes and it’s time to retire, she cannot until six years later. That is one of the difficulties because this was already done in the past and it just has to be accepted now. For instance, if she is 50 years old, she is only 44 in the papers. So, we are already old, but our age makes us seem young and our strength is no longer the same.”
N.D. came to America through marriage to an American citizen. It was a loveless marriage solely for the purpose of access to the American Dream. He raised two children with N.V. while not being legally recognized as their father, and this had future implications for their childrens’ livelihoods as well. Without a father on their birth certificates, both children had to fill out waivers on their financial aid applications for tax information from a biological father that did not exist in their lives.
After arriving in America, they continued to face many difficulties when trying to adjust to the new country.
N.D.: “Coming here, we saved a bit of money to buy a house and settle here and then met the housing inflation and lost everything. The little that we were able to save and invest to buy a house was all lost. So life has a lot of, it’s not like our journey is a straight path. It has a lot of twists and turns and difficulties you have to overcome.”
Even today, they still struggle to fully integrate themselves into the country due to their physically perceived differences from the “American” citizen.
N.D.: “The younger generation, they often would mistake us for others. In some cases, they even hate us. They hate us because the closest thing right now is the situation with COVID. A number of people in America say that—whether it is a misunderstanding or not it doesn’t matter—in general they say that it is because of China creating the coronavirus that every country in the world was suffering and dying, so they see us and they hate us. That’s why a little bit back, when COVID was bad, a number of people were assaulted in the street because they thought the person was Chinese.”
They persisted because they knew their efforts would culminate in a much better life—one that was inconceivable in Vietnam.
N.D.: “…for us, during the time before getting here, we lived under the communist regime and it was even more difficult. That kind of suffering to us is okay. It may be difficult, but it is better in America. Facing this difficulty is something we are used to, so getting over it is easier.”
Ultimately, they both have found a new life in America. Though Vietnam was their place of birth, it was not a country that could provide for them; rather, it was a place of fear and insecurity for the both of them.
N.V.: “Vietnam is scary. Just having to carry things there and you fall up and down, I’m scared out of my mind, how can I speak of being obsessed with Vietnam now?”
N.D.: “It brings her fear only. Hunger, see, or suffering, or all kinds of worries. Worries are always beside you.”
N.D.: “I live today, but tomorrow I have no idea what it will be like. Life during that time was hard and difficult. Living one day, you only know about that day.”
They consider America their new “home”. It is the country where they have been able to build a life for themselves and their children—it is the country where they have found relief at last from conflict and scarcity.
N.D.: “Even though the United States is our second home, ‘our second homeland’, it is the place that gave us a better life. So we love and consider it more dear, that’s all. Vietnam we still remember, but honestly, it was not able to create a home for us, so it is hard—it is just a memory for us.”
Though they hold onto the fond memories from Vietnam, it was not a place that could support them. N.D. relates his detachment from Vietnam through his understanding of “home” and memory.
N.D.: “The feeling of going home… it just passes by. It is not very deep. For example, that feeling is just there when you are standing there in Vietnam. When you return there and stand on the ground of that place, you feel that way. You see it as your homeland. But America also has become our new homeland.”
“The feeling of going home… it just passes by. It is not very deep. For example, that feeling is just there when you are standing there in Vietnam. When you return there and stand on the ground of that place, you feel that way. You see it as your homeland. But America also has become our new homeland.”
N.D.: “Of course there are times because we lived there for our entire childhood…because we were young, our minds did not think of the issues of competition or anything with each other, so there remain memories that are very beautiful… the language we used when we were first born and raised is this one (Vietnamese) so it is deeply ingrained in our minds. They say anyone who doesn’t miss their homeland, that situation is unreasonable, it is wrong. People miss it, but…It depends on the conditions. If Vietnam would improve, then of course people would want to return. If it doesn’t change for the better, who would want to return?”
They could not forget the greater hardships in their lives and how they would be extended if they stayed or returned now while the country’s political forces remain oppressive.
Instead, they now spend time trying to reposition and root themselves in America by extending their cultural presence in the community and through their children. Specifically, N.D. asserts that America is the right country to do so by the way it encourages multiple identities to flourish and interact with each other.
N.D.: “For good things, you should learn more. It is precisely this alignment that—as in matches in livelihoods and in language—that can become something more beautiful and good. You can think of America as a flower petal that only has one color. One fragrance. But here if the tree has a lot of flowers and fragrances, people would like it more.”
He finds value in making his presence known in America in several ways. Firstly, he wants to make his origins and purpose clear to those who are blissfully unaware of the circumstances of his migration and hardships.
N.D.: “Vietnam doesn’t have anything that has been imported into the US. We have to explain slowly to them by first talking about the war because the war is the reason why there are Vietnamese people in America. If we do not talk about the Vietnam War, we cannot possibly discuss why Vietnamese people are in America.”
Secondly, he contends with his everyday experiences of ostracization by persisting in his work to prove his worth to the country.
N.D.: “People who have lived here for a long time already, they are already established and their origins are already here, like the tree has been planted for long already and the roots are deep into the ground… for us, when we have just been planted, we have to disperse our roots out far and grab onto the ground tightly so it can grow well, that’s how we are. Coming to America, we have to work harder and try harder. In the past, like I told you, I had to work overtime a lot.”
He realizes the need to prove himself to make his place in America secure—otherwise, he acknowledges the persistent economic conflict between migrants and natives to capitalize on the limited resources in America.
“… for us, when we have just been planted, we have to disperse our roots out far and grab onto the ground tightly so it can grow well…”
N.D.: “…it is a place where, like a tree that grows well, so many birds come to the tree to live and it becomes so crowded that they have to manage it…It has to gradually develop and grow branches so that birds will have room to build a nest. They say ‘with fertile land, birds will perch’. There is fertile land, but if there is not enough space, then the birds will come and instead a war will erupt. There is war, and though it may not be with guns, there will be a lot of competition where people fight for space to live. Like how birds kick others out to find space for themselves to live.”
He also realizes how this conflict can arise through cultural differences that make him distinctly “unassimilated” and thus not accepted by others in his day-to-day interactions.
N.D.: “…there are some who are okay and are open-minded with us, but there are others who are less sensitive and we have to deal with it. But they don’t say it out loud. Nobody says out loud, ‘Oh, you have bad English, I won’t talk to you.’ They still talk to you, but their attitude changes a lot, and we know it. But we just have to accept it. We know about it and have to overcome it.”
This leads N.D. to emphasize the importance of language in the assimilation process. It is not only a way to establish your own unique cultural difference but a means of making yourself known and legible to those who don’t understand you.
N.D.: “Language can help people become closer with each other or understand each other better, which makes working together easier too. It is easier. Going out, you are not hesitant. You know the language- for example if you go out and your understanding of the language is scarce, you will not ask or you will not want to ask because you don’t know anything to ask. Going anywhere, you are afraid of this and that, afraid that you will get lost and not know what to say, you are afraid that you will speak to someone and they will not understand. And going to work is just like that too. If your proficiency with the language is low, at work if they tell you to do something, you just do whatever they say and don’t have any insights or suggestions.”
Rather than dwelling on these experiences of discrimination, they both seek to contribute to the intermingling of cultures by passing their language to their children and practicing common Vietnamese traditions and attending major celebrations with their families.
N.D.: “If you want closeness, you have to create closeness by some method like… some cultures, other people in America don’t have it. For instance, keeping the origins of our language is something we all work on, all Vietnamese people, through speaking Vietnamese. And our way of thinking is something unique to us that we should have.
N.V.: “That’s why we have Vietnamese associations like the church and other associations that every year celebrate things like the Mid-Autumn festival and Lunar New Year.”
Ultimately, N.D. and N.V. express a common appreciation for the resources they have received and the new life they have been able to build.
Still, N.D. acknowledges the inherent inequity underpinning America’s immigration system. America is the place where they have been able to cultivate their dreams, but it is not one that is equally accessible to those who dream of it—it is a dream of falsified and unequal privilege.
“…if America’s immigration policy needs to be adjusted, it needs to address that issue… because people who want to come, they oftentimes face difficulties and they cannot enter. They cannot come to America, but the people who are more deceitful or they find ways to cause problems, then they have all sorts of ways to enter. They come to America very easily because they have enough resources. Even their country of origin may find ways for them to come to America easily. They have all the paperwork, all the… so they can come.”